That Time I Went Dress Shopping

So, not only is my wedding this year, but I am also in a wedding this year. I don't know about you, but comapred to what David's Bridal seems to think the average woman looks like, I am Pam Anderson. Finding a bridesmaid dress is the hardest thing ever. Not only are they over priced for what they are (hello, you are polyester!), but they all fit funny. I am convinced this is a plot to get us to spend more money. You have to buy the dress, and then pay them to cut it up to make it look nice. F*** that! Ugh. Either that or I am just really short for my weight. And honest to god I don't really feel like that at all. But, it is well known in my family that I inherited Grandma Stell boobs. Oh, you’ve never heard of Grandma Stell boobs? Grandma Stell is my great granny and she had big shelf boobs. These, my friend are what I inherited. It makes trying on dresses really hard, as the cute ones are all strapless. Well, strapless doesn’t really look good on shelf boobs. Strapless on shelf boobs gives you this one large uniboob that looks like it’s gonna fall out the top any minute. Not a good look. Soo… David’s Bridal then chip clips you into a dress two sizes too big to get it to zip over your tatas and tells you don’t worry, we can take the bottom half in. So, another $200 bites the dust. Moral of the story? Always ask to the be guest book attendant instead.Oh, and see if there is a bag of chips to go with those chip clips attached to your dress.