Totally random, but I was thinking about all the things that I do with my friends, that if I haven't done with you then I'm not sure I can truly call you a best friend. Ya'll know what I am talking about, those things like accidently farting that if you did in front of someone you aren't REALLY, TRULY friends with might make you turn bright ass red and mumble then walk away? But, with a true friend, you laugh and say, "My bad."
If I've done this in front of you (or with you) then you are a purple, sparkly heart friend.
- If I 've not worn pants in front of you. I like to not wear pants and if I have gone pantsless around you we may just in fact be friends.
- If I've taken a road trip with you. And not killed you. Or you not kill me. If you can get through more than a two hour car ride with a bitch, than you are homies for life. Because I usually want to cut a bitch after a thirty minute car ride.
- If I've crawled into your bed in the middle of the night. Now, this may sound creepy as an almost thirty year old, but back in the day I had a habit of getting a little white girl wasted and crawling into people's beds. I prefer being the big spoon, just an FYI.
- If we've talked about poop. Or other bodily functions. Pretty self-explanatory. While I am open, I am generally not that old lady with a walker who tells anyone who will listen about what her stool looked like today.
- If we've talked on the phone while peeing. For me, I'll even Facetime you while peeing. I do have some boundaries though and talking while pooing is a no no.
- If we never need to pay each other back for anything, because we are always spotting each other money so we know in the end it will even out.
- If we've taken care of each other while incredibly drunk. I mean, who else but a friend would do this? Becuase when I don't like a bitch, I usually just watch and laugh as they make a drunk ass of themself.
- If we hate the same people, we have to be friends. What is that saying? Your enemies enemy is your friend.
all of this. you know you're a true friend when you wipe the puke off of someone's dress and face (and don't even blink an eye at that) and they have done the same for you!
ReplyDelete-kathy
Vodka and Soda
haha very true! I used to just pass out on people's couches instead of their beds. Like, if you were my friend, I either had a key or was really skilled at picking your lock so I'd often be on your couch when you woke up. I have no idea why I didn't want to go home, I think I just liked people making me breakfast!
ReplyDeleteThe not needing to worry about paying each other back because it all evens out is definitely a perk of real friends!
ReplyDeleteOh my hahahah that's so true! I can talk to my best friend while peeing and that pant-less walk is common! And I can take money from her bag because I'm usually SO POOR!
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