Since it is Monday, my absolute favorite day of the week and I am slightly hangry right now I thought I would put together a list of Shit Not To Say. This is the shit that is guaranteed to piss me off. Even if I am chipper and have unicorns and rainbows flying through my head this shit sends me into an insta-rage.
- "I have nothing to wake up for." Well, you get to enjoy me every day. That should bring you enough life fulfillment for multiple lifetimes. Bitch, please. #firstworldproblems
- "I thought you'd already had your period this month." Call me a bitch again and see what happens. I'm crabby. Everybody gets crabby sometimes (please refer to the "I have nothing..." comment) and that should be allowed.
- "Why are you dressed so nicely?" Why? Because I go to work every day. Turns out, this is how big kids dress for work.
- "Is that what you are wearing?" Nope. I just put it on for fun. What the fuck do you think? Yes, I plan on wearing this. Or at least I did until you said that.
- "Oh, you're showering today?!" Really? Yes, I shower a-hole. Dry shampoo is made for a reason. No, I am not that nasty that I don't wash my cooter on the reg.
