Humpday Confessions

I'mmmmm back bitches! I'm doing a my Humpday Confessions with Kathy at Vodka and Soda. Since it it the last week of school for me I want to make it teacher/school style confessions. Yay for working so hard 10 months out of the year that I earn my summers off!

I have to give the disclaimer: I am not a certified teacher. I am a school social worker. I just spend all day, err day with teachers and everything thinks that I am a teacher. 

• We talk about kids. Like talk about kids in the staff lounge, talk about what's going on at happy hour, etc. It's one of the moments where you have to share the funny story of the kid who talked about how mommy and daddy made them a new baby sister. In anatomically correct terms. In detail. We can't help it, that shit is too good to share. 

• We will send kids to the office just to get a break from them. Somedays you just ain't got time for dat. And by that I mean the little turd who won't stop kicking the kids desk in front of them, stop talking, stop tapping their desk, stop throwing shit across the room, talking back, WHILE pretending to sleep. And you have PMS. So, he gets to go sit in the office for the morning just to give us a break. 
• Field trips are days that we dread. Everyone has this impression that they are the best day ever. Lie. Big fact lie. They are the worst days of the year. On par with field day levels of suckiness. Field trips are usually an entire grade level, so 60-80 kids, with the normal number of adults, so 4-6, and parents who have no clue what's going on so they mill about, kids who think since their parents are there they do not have to listen to shit you say, having to remember sack lunches for all those kids, double check that the buses are actually going to show up (because it really, really sucks when they don't), AND then lastly make sure the kids are safe, learning, and having fun. Oh, and most kids complain the entire time. They don't want to be at school, but they don't want to have someone telling them anything in public either. While it's nice you get to wear jeans that day, field trips suck. 
• We hate homework as much as the kids. What is the point of homework you ask? To show that the child has the ability to APPLY the skills. There is a point. If the student has the skill, then we need to see them apply it to know that they can generalize and USE the skill. Novel concept, I know. So, back to my actual point. Homework sucks donkey balls. We don't want to listen to the gripe of the kids when they receive the assignment, we don't want to grade the assignment, and we def don't want all the parent emails and phone calls that come along with homework. 

• Our teacher persona is not who we truly are. When I work individually with kids they get to know me so much better and are totally surprised I can talk about pop culture, my iPhone, reality tv, rap music. When I do an all class intervention, the kids all think I am that dorky lady who talks about bullying and emotions. So not true. Well, I am a dork, but still there is more to my dorkiness.