Humpday Confessions- Bachelorette Party Edition

This past weekend was my bachelorette party.  My bestie, Jen, planned it all out and it was the most amazing, thoughtful party ever! I threw in a bunch of pictures, just so you know I have friends in real life. 

Confessions time:

• We had a hotel room, very smart choice. Between the Jen and I, it looked as if we were staying for the week. I totally gave the bell hop the stank eye when he asked in disbelief, "you're only here one night?" 
• We had the bag of doritos that is big enough to feed a starving family of four. And I had eye sex with it the entire time we were bringing it up stairs. Then, I slept with it in bed with me. #zerofucksgiven

• We went to a pole dancing class. Since we were being super safe, we made someone besides Jen and I drive, as we had each drank a bottle of champagne. We didn't follow any other safe driving rules, as evidence by the picture below. Oh, and the doritos came with us. 

Reagan our pole dance instructor 

• My biggest confession, from this night is the fact there is a video... So I thought I'd share :) Enjoy. 

• There was a couch at the pole dancing class.... That I was convinced had an STD. Below, you can see a pic of Jen and Kala sitting on it :) I don't know, it just looked like a B list porn couch. 

• Next, we started getting ready to go to dinner. I had a total bridezilla moment as we were leaving the hotel room. I was feeling rushed and hadn't had a chance to make myself look as drag queen as I would have liked, so I told everyone to just get on the elevator and start going to the restaurant and I would meet them in a few minutes. Like good friends they were all, no we'll wait. Me? Bridezilla. 

• One of my girlfriends wanted to take a picture at 3am as we were leaving da club. You notice I am in the back? Yeah, I wanted to be all bitch please, nobody got time for sweaty ass nasty 3am pictures. So instead of having another bridezilla moment, I hid my stank ass in the back of the picture. 

• After we got back at 3am... well 3ish.... I face timed my boo thang to let him know all his beavers were still alive. Yup 3am.  #truelove 
• The next morning, I felt glorious and by glorious I mean stupidly tired and I tried to convince my friends a little hair of the dog would be worth it. Them bitches weren't having it.