What I Did On My Break...

and other fun stories. I have to admit that what I did on my break consisted largely of this:

I'm just keeping it real up in here. I wore no bra, dry shampooed the shit outta my hair, and put a pillow on the couch so that I could watch all of my Lifetime movies with no shame. The dogs loved it. I also had the very disturbing realization that SoapNet is no more. Why, God, Why?! Apparently their parent company decided to go with more children's programming because it draws a larger audience base. Man, don't kids have enough channels to call their own? How else am I supposed to get my re-runs of the original 90210?! Riddle me that!

This also happened:

I re-tweeted one of my besties and then it got favorited by Alex Newman. Now, we should all recognize this name... crickets, crickets. Right. It's a rookie that was drafted 10th round by the Royals. I really, really understand his excitement about being a member of a Major League Baseball team, but I also do not know how he can't recognize that he is signed to the best farm team that the MLB has. Just sayin. Also, how do you not recognize WHAT is being said in that tweet?! If I played for the Royals I wouldn't be favoriting that shit. 

Truthfully, I didn't do the couch potato thing the entire time. The week of Christmas, I had my family December birthday lunch and got birthday presents. We also had Christmas with my family on Christmas day, where I got to see my family for the second time in one week and eat too much. I had Christmas with my friends and watched K-State play in the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl, which is the worst name ever. Unless you're giving out coupon codes for free shit just call it a normal name. I can get down with the Fiesta Bowl (although that sounds like something from Taco Bell) sponsored by Tostitos. That makes sense. 

Then, came the week of New Years. This is where shit got real and the above picture actually transpired. I swear, the week before I was so busy I was forced to shower every day and put on a bra. This week? Hell, nah. I did go do another walk through of my wedding venue with my parents, so that we could finalize a few details and I scheduled a wedding gown appointment, but other than that? I really did zilch. And loved every second of it. We did nothing on New Year's Eve except sit at home watching all the tv specials. Well, I drank a bottle of champs and a bottle of red. 

NYE started like this

and the bitch ended like this

Now, it's back to the real world for me. I did manage to check my work email over the break, so I sorta kinda know what I am walking into. But, you never know with kids. 

What was your favorite part of this holiday season? Did you do something great for New Year's Eve?

My Week in GIFs....

This has been a long week. Not only did The Mister and I have a crap ton of stuff to do, it was long at work as well.

Monday---

I realize Mondays are the worst day of the week intrinsically, but this one gave me the run around. I had one of my fave kiddos give me the stank eye at 8am. I knew the day was starting well. I went to meet a family for an evaluation at a hospital, they were a no show. I went to the mall to buy new jeans (fyi express has jeans bogo 50%, totally worth it they make your ass look fab) with my bff Jen. I am also currently obsessing over leapord print shirts. One day you will see me all Snooki style in a leopard shirt. By the end of the day....

Tuesday---

I almost had to shank someone at work. Do not interrupt me when I am doing my fave part of my job (i.e. providing counseling to kids) by lurking in the doorway. Also, do not interrogate me about a decision you wanted to be no part of, then misquote me via email. Do not send said email WHILE I AM STILL IN THE ROOM.  But, then my cable goes ot. Fuck my cable company, if I didn't have a contract you wouldn't be getting my hard earned cash money. Tuesday was a bad, bad day all around. I need my Biggest Loser.

I did go get my hair cut, which was a plus. Always got to look on the positive. Gigi, thank you for giving me a new fresh and clean look.

Wednesday---

Was just long, I had a last minute parent teacher conference scheduled for the evening and it took FOREVER. Like Sandlot style FOREVER. I was tired, cranky, and hangry by the time I got home. The Mister was awesome, took one look at me and said let’s eat out. He’s totally a keeper. I then proceeded to watch Biggest Loser on my computer.

Thursday---

I co-taught a class at work on crisis prevention. I am a really, really quick presenter. I am down and dirty style, where participants get the info with no wasted time on their part or effort on my part. It is a 6 hour training. I was scheduled to teach approx 2 hours. I let me co-presenters (one of whom is a control freak) know I only needed an hour fifteen for my parts. She didn't listen, we were running early and I got done waaayyy early… And we couldn't break for lunch at 10:30, so instead of starting a small section from after lunch... she wait for it... SHE FILLS THE SILENCE WITH INANE CHATTER. Who does that?! That is so not cool. Then we give everyone the longest lunch in the history of lunches and make them stay until the scheduled ending time. We are doucheholes.

On the positive, The Mister and I took photos with our wedding photog so that we have some for our wedding website. I guess they could technically be called engagement photos, which is funny because we totally didn't plan to do them. If they are as awesome as I think they will be, I really want her to do some of us with our horrible dogs.  

 

Friday---

 

My alarm didn’t go off. I have no issues with sleeping in, but shit really?! My phone was dead, so that’s why it didn’t go off. I manage to forget to put on deodorant, but hey who cares no one will smell me at work right? I did stop by the double arches for breakfast, where the attractive window worker told me I look nice. How did I know I needed that this morning? Man, McDonalds I must say I really can have it my way there. I have to also testify their egg white sandwiches are good. I mean as good as my Jimmy Dean at home, actually better though because I get the hash brown there. Sooo… Friday can either go one of two ways for me. Hopefully, nobody fucks with me today and my cable works.  

 



Who Let the Dogs Out?

What do you do when you just move into your brand hew house and your dog has already made enemies with all the neighbors he has come into contact with? Last week, Tigger hops the fence to go two doors down and make friends over there. That lady very politely told me that it would be best if my dog didn't come into her yard. So, we rapidly put up Tigger's electronic fence on Thursday. This morning, while I am blissfully attempting to sleep through The Mister getting ready for work, he comes yelling at me. Me?! What did I do?! The Mister had let the dogs out while showering and was going to leave for work and I was supposed to let them in. Instead, as he is pulling out of the garage he sees the lady next door to us in her robe beating at Tigger with a spade. Apparently, her granddogs were over and Tigger went to make friends. Unfortunately, they didn't make friends and instead some Michael Vick action commenced to go down. The Mister proceeds to tell me neighbor lady is panicking and I should go talk to her. So, I put on my robe and peek outside, asking what do I say/do? We fucked up leaving the dogs out totally unsupervised in a new place. My bad. Yeah, we told you about the electric fence, but deliberately didn't mention that Tigger powers through it when he feels like it. My bad. Awww, shit. I don't forsee us getting a welcome to the neighborhood from anyone anytime soon.