Wednesday, January 29, 2014

He's Here!!!

In my group of friends we all pretend to be adults. I mean we're all closer to 30 (or are) than we are 21. And we have to chekc that horrible box that says 25-37 age group. But, none of us has had a baby. As of 1/27/2014 at 10:10pm that is a lie. One of us now has a baby. Baby Lanning was is here now! One of my best friends from college, Lucy has had her baby boy. I am super, duper excited. And against what I would have ever expected, so is Gabriel. He has been obsessed over Baby L since we found out Lucy was having a baby. I mean there was this little human that lived inside Lucy for 9(+) months and now he is here. He is real.

And this happened. Gabriel is so obsessed with Lanning that he has called him "his" baby since we felt him kicking. Just to clarify, Lanning's father is named Steve. Steve is Lucy's husband. Not Gabriel. Gabriel is my fiancee. This ain't no sister wife shit. There, now that that's all cleared up.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Friday Fun

I truly have nothing huge planned for this weekend, but I am so looking forward to it. I am pretty sure this week was only a four day work week, but it is all starting to run together for me.

Last night I had the epiphany that tomorrow was Friday and got all excited. Like when I find a bra that fits on clearance all excited. Like when someone offers to pay for your drinks all exicted. Yeah, that kind of excited.
Then, I woke up and checked the weather and my facebook. Man, on Friday people seem to go bananas postng TGIF. I mean, I was excited too (until my alarm went off), but I contained myself from posting that shiz to FB. It ain't that deep.
The minute I got to work, I immediately looked at my calendar and thought F*** this. Fridays are community based instruction (i.e. field trip) days for my self-contained program, I have team meetings at the early childhood center, and a parent interview scheduled. Do people not know it's FRIDAY?! Who works for real on Friday?!

Then, the clock hits the magic number, 3:30 and I am no longer on the clock. I can do what I want! ahhh... The sweet freedom of wearing no bra, not changing out of my sweats, and not leaving my couch unless I want to. Amazeballs.


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

January Ipsy Bag

I love me some ipsy, if you haven't tried it and like trying new makeup and beauty items you def should. It is no secret that I hoard makeup, so this is like a dream for me. I have so many samples stashed away that I will never run out of anything but toothpaste and deodarant. And with the way my cheap ass coupons, I will never run out of that shizz either. I digress, this is all about ipsy and the awesomeness I got this month. It was not all eyeshadow and nail polish this month! That made me soooo excited!
  • The Coastal Scents Classic Small Foundation Brush is the ideal size for creating a smooth, even finish giving you full control when applying and blending liquid and cream based foundation. I got this and used it immediately. While it says it is a small brush, it is the same size as my "full" size one that is worn out. The bristles are soft and give a smooth finish that I love.
  • MicaBeauty's 24 hour Tinted Lip Balm conditions your lips without smudge while delivering sophisticated finish. Kiss-proof and smudge-proof! I started using this immediately as well. I love that it is not as thick as a lipstick and does go on smooth, so my winter chapped lips aren't noticeable.
  •  Absolute! Makeup Cleansing Tissues are formulated to reawaken and soften skin, while helping to reduce puffiness. Made of delicate spun lace, our convenient, effortless 1-step tissues are gentle enough for use on sensitive skin and around the eye area.   Honest, I haven't used these yet. I have a pack already opened so I stored these away. I love that they are water based and will def use next.
  • Nourish Organic's Lightweight Moisturizing Face Lotion provides continuous moisture throughout the day while replenishing essential skin nutrients. The advanced, non-greasy formula is also rich in vitamins and antioxidants to boost skin's defenses and leave skin healthier and younger-looking every day. 100% Natural. USDA-Certified Organic. Fragrance-Free. Alcohol-Free. Ultra gentle for sensitive skin. Meh. This is a take it our leave it item for me. I am not a stickler for organic products, so this was just another face lotion.
  • The yaby Liquid Foundation leaves an unbelievably natural, super smooth texture and is extremely easy to apply. Mimics the skin's natural sheen to create the most realistic flawless skin. Oil-free. Hmmm. I am still withholding judgement on this one. Did you get this? If so, what do you think?
Who all gets a monthly bag? What did you get?  I would love to hear!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

That Time I Went Dress Shopping

So, not only is my wedding this year, but I am also in a wedding this year. I don't know about you, but comapred to what David's Bridal seems to think the average woman looks like, I am Pam Anderson. Finding a bridesmaid dress is the hardest thing ever. Not only are they over priced for what they are (hello, you are polyester!), but they all fit funny. I am convinced this is a plot to get us to spend more money. You have to buy the dress, and then pay them to cut it up to make it look nice. F*** that! Ugh. Either that or I am just really short for my weight. And honest to god I don't really feel like that at all. But, it is well known in my family that I inherited Grandma Stell boobs. Oh, you’ve never heard of Grandma Stell boobs? Grandma Stell is my great granny and she had big shelf boobs. These, my friend are what I inherited. It makes trying on dresses really hard, as the cute ones are all strapless. Well, strapless doesn’t really look good on shelf boobs. Strapless on shelf boobs gives you this one large uniboob that looks like it’s gonna fall out the top any minute. Not a good look. Soo… David’s Bridal then chip clips you into a dress two sizes too big to get it to zip over your tatas and tells you don’t worry, we can take the bottom half in. So, another $200 bites the dust. Moral of the story? Always ask to the be guest book attendant instead.Oh, and see if there is a bag of chips to go with those chip clips attached to your dress.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Food I Could Eat Forever

As we are all aware, I love to eat. If I could roll around with some chili cheese fries and make love to a chinese buffet, I would. With no shame I might add. My desire to have everything in my mouth is one of the reasons why I need to work out more. Meh, I'll just keep working out at my minimal level and eating everything in sight. I'm good with that. I thought I'd share some of my all time fave foods with you today, so that you can see I am an equal opportunity food lover.
  • Fried chicken...who doesn't love crispy chicken titties? They taste sooo good with hot sauce! Not to be confused with chicken strips, cuz those are totally different.
  • Gummi bears... need I say more?
  • Pad Thai... I love it in all variations. It can have chicken, shrimp, tofu it doesn't matter. I will eat it no matter what.
  • Chips... again, it can be any kind. I love hot fries, cheetos (puffy not crunchy), BBQ, kettle chips. Or you could make a big bowl of mixed chips and it would be like a buffet, but different. I also love leaving behind little cheesy handprints.
  • Salad... Not a lie. I don't joke or kid on this one. I nkow it doesn't seem to go with, but salads are so versatile they can be anything! They can be filled with every texture known to man. I love to top mexican style with tortilla strips, so I can be healthy AND have chips! Salads are a win-win all the way around.
  • Chinese Food... I do understand this is a food group, but I couldn't list out every single thing I love on the chinese buffet and nobody would want to read that. I even love to eat plain rice, but onyl if it's cooked correcly.  #chinesefoodiseverything

What are your faves? I love trying new food, so tell me!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

New Year Guilty Pleasures

So when thinking about a new year I like to think about the all the things that are guilty pleasures that I won't give up, no matter what. I think this is so much more fun than the bullshit resloutions that I will never keep. Let's be real here ya'll, you are either gonna get your shit together and make changes or not. The new year is not your aha moment, sorry to tell you.

Guilty Pleasures...

- Watching other people... I can't help it ya'll. Creepily watching others unashamedly is the funniest, cheapest entertainment there is in the world. It is even better if the people are fighting. Or if you are at a bar. Bars are the bets people watching playgrounds. Generally, people don't even notice or if they do notice me watching unashamedly watching them they assume I cannot be crass enough to actually be watching them. Sorry, bitches, I am watching you, make no bones about it. And no, you making eye contact with me won't get me to stop. Why? Because my ass is that astounded/amused that you are doing WHATEVER the fuck you are doing in public to get me to look in the first place.

- Rap music... Yup, this white girl loves her some A$AP Rocky, E-40, B.o.B., Juicy J, 2 Chainz... the raunchier/more obnoxious the better. I can't help myself, I like to shake my ass. Especially in the office sitting at my desk. I love that nobody else knows I'm sitting here silently judging them while listening to "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe." Rap music just has it right. And they are some sexy ass men. Then end. Well, minus Rick Ross. I do love the velour track suit, but can you please put a fucking shirt on sir?! Unless, the chest hair counts as a shirt, then I got mad respect.
- Instagram... This is like people watching, but different. This is people watching, but classier and without the bullshit drama of facebook. I get to see bitches looking ratchet and healthy food all in one place. I love me a good selfie, but the selfies that some people take are too much. And the reactions to some peoples pictures are too fucking much. I have never seen people get defensive and defend an internet personality until Instagram. And I use internet personality loosely.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

America's Got Talent... Or Not.

Have you ever been that person who watches others with all there talents and being all glorious, all the while thinking, "daaammmmnnn. I wish I could ride a unicycle while playing the bugle and having perfect hair." We all know what I am talking about. Or maybe not. Maybe I am the only person who feels like everyone has a true talent but them. When I was in school, I did theater, cheered, and was involved in student government but I wasn't GREAT at any of them. I am solidly mediocre at everything. I like to attempt to craft (sew, knit/crochet, hot glue things), but I don't do anything mind blowing and I get the ideas from others. I don't sing, I white girl dance, and I am a bad drunk. Like, I'm not even great at being drunk. Who admits that? This girl. I am the girl that is awesomely not awesome. Generally, I am ok with this. Like I know I am good at stuff, but I really want to have a super cool talent of some kind.

 If there was one talent I wish I had, it is being artistic. I want to be that person who can look at a room and think creatively about how to make it look like a magazine picture. I want to be able to draw a straight line (which I can't even do with a ruler). I want to be able to sew more than just barely, even though I took a class on it. I want to be able to knit more than just a rectangle scarf. I know I am asking a lot, but if I could have one talent this would be it. Being creative or artsy would also help me to have better make up, but that is just an added bonus that appeals to my shallow nature.

What is one of your talents? Or hidden talents? I would love to know!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

What I Did On My Break...

and other fun stories. I have to admit that what I did on my break consisted largely of this:

I'm just keeping it real up in here. I wore no bra, dry shampooed the shit outta my hair, and put a pillow on the couch so that I could watch all of my Lifetime movies with no shame. The dogs loved it. I also had the very disturbing realization that SoapNet is no more. Why, God, Why?! Apparently their parent company decided to go with more children's programming because it draws a larger audience base. Man, don't kids have enough channels to call their own? How else am I supposed to get my re-runs of the original 90210?! Riddle me that!

This also happened:

I re-tweeted one of my besties and then it got favorited by Alex Newman. Now, we should all recognize this name... crickets, crickets. Right. It's a rookie that was drafted 10th round by the Royals. I really, really understand his excitement about being a member of a Major League Baseball team, but I also do not know how he can't recognize that he is signed to the best farm team that the MLB has. Just sayin. Also, how do you not recognize WHAT is being said in that tweet?! If I played for the Royals I wouldn't be favoriting that shit. 

Truthfully, I didn't do the couch potato thing the entire time. The week of Christmas, I had my family December birthday lunch and got birthday presents. We also had Christmas with my family on Christmas day, where I got to see my family for the second time in one week and eat too much. I had Christmas with my friends and watched K-State play in the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl, which is the worst name ever. Unless you're giving out coupon codes for free shit just call it a normal name. I can get down with the Fiesta Bowl (although that sounds like something from Taco Bell) sponsored by Tostitos. That makes sense. 

Then, came the week of New Years. This is where shit got real and the above picture actually transpired. I swear, the week before I was so busy I was forced to shower every day and put on a bra. This week? Hell, nah. I did go do another walk through of my wedding venue with my parents, so that we could finalize a few details and I scheduled a wedding gown appointment, but other than that? I really did zilch. And loved every second of it. We did nothing on New Year's Eve except sit at home watching all the tv specials. Well, I drank a bottle of champs and a bottle of red. 
NYE started like this

and the bitch ended like this

Now, it's back to the real world for me. I did manage to check my work email over the break, so I sorta kinda know what I am walking into. But, you never know with kids. 

What was your favorite part of this holiday season? Did you do something great for New Year's Eve?